Several experts in children behavior researched about what causes bad behavior and how the most effective parenting methods are.
1. Why the children are naughty
Dr Emily Emmott is an anthropologist at University College London said that basically, it was often a conflict between how much time and how much attention parents would like to spend for children and how much the children want. From the children’s viewpoint, they want to have all attention from their parents, so they are able to maximize that.
However, parents also mind about other objects. For example, when parents want to have more children, they cannot only concern in one child. In addition, they still bother about working, budget, social relations and so on.
The children are not equipped with the awareness ability as adults.
Therefore, if we want something, their only option is able to make fuss.
2. Encouragement and punishment
Over many years, most parents asked if the punishment was the good way when the children mistook.
“The good behavior is established when the children make right more than wrong”, Rachel Calam, the professor psychology about family and child at Manchester University.
She also said that parents would be often focused on what the children made wrong, but the root of establishing value behavior was when kids were doing something that they would like to do, parents ought to praise and encourage them.
The children think that they had been paid attention from parents through the difficult behavior more than the desirable behavior. Therefore, parents should change the attention concentrate on the desirable behaviors so that they know the attention from parents.
3. Rewarding for children
Nobody is perfect; especially, there is a child. The children are still developing at the adolescence. In addition, the children can have to take a long time in order to learn right behaviors and ignore wrong behaviors. Consequently, parents should be patient. Spellman said that parents are able to reward or praise children so that they know what the good behavior. Sometimes, there is no entirely the good behavior, but parents ought to encourage children by the appreciation.
4. Explaining what the children’s behavior is right
For instance, after playing, the children have put all toys in box; instead of just saying: “good boy” or “well done”, you should say “thank you for putting these toys in box which is really kind when mother tidy up”.
5. Your children will learn your behavior
Most of parents are occasionally disappointed with the children’s bad behavior. However, when teaching the children know how the right or wrong behavior is, it means that parents should shout and yell, David Spellman says, a consultant clinical psychotherapist in Lancashire.
He also says “I think we usually undervalue the impact of voice”. “In spite of needing to have the discipline, we should not scream or shout with the children. Even, we needn’t to point finger in them.”
With your actions, the children will not hear the message that you want them to understand. On the contrary, they see that you are angry and hostile them.